It all started when we went to figure out why this gigantic, unmanned telescope floating in space had stopped working. We showed up and there was this huge soda can floating nearby. Data did a scan, and saw that there was nothing aboard it. Rather than send a probe, I decided to let my chief engineer and one of his minions named Barclay go out on a shuttle to check it out. Then you know what? This huge flash of light happened! Geordi was fine because he has that visor on anyway, but Barclay totally got wiped out.
Then the probe started following us. We tried phasers and they did nothing. Worf was off his game, I guess. (What you got to do with Worf is insult his upbringing or get him a mate.) Anyway, I tried backing up at half impulse and the probe just kept coming. Well I waited so long on it that the probe got too close to even destroy. Then this guy Barclay comes onto the bridge and tells us to do some multi-whatchamacallem and boom, the probe was destroyed. Nice!
Things just got crazier from there because this engineer guy got so smart he was like 8 humans. He told Einstein what's what in the holodeck, then plugged himself into the computer.
He got so smart that he even stopped using his mouth to talk! He took full control of the ship, created a gravitron field, and brought us to the center of the galaxy to meet an alien. Well, after that we were put right back to where we were (the telescope, remember?) Barclay's back to normal except he's hitting on Troi hardcore, so I figured he was good enough to get back to his job even though he took over the ship. It wasn't for long anyway.
